I think most everyone has heard of those mythical “little people” of Irish folklore called “leprechauns.” Thinking of the “little people” reminded me of an admonition I used to hear every so often: “Be the bigger person.” I don’t think I’ve heard it for a while. What does it really mean to be “the bigger person”? Of course it doesn’t mean that you should try to be bigger in the literal sense. I’ve never known any people who could will themselves to be physically taller. Being a “small person” in a figurative sense is to be selfish and petty.

Being the “Bigger Person”

Being “the bigger person” is to rise above someone opposing you at that level and instead be the one to respond in a more unselfish and mature way. A “bigger person” might also be thought of as a “magnanimous person.” I’ve always loved the sound of the word “magnanimous.” Oxford Language online defines it as “generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or less powerful person.” The Latin origin is from the words “magnus,” meaning  “great,” plus “animus,” meaning “soul.” It seems to me that being “magnanimous” would require humility.

At a company where I had worked for several years, the company decided to move part of my duties to another department. They offered the position to a woman in yet another department. I felt that my experience fit the job better than hers, and a co-worker convinced me I should not let the job fall to someone else. The company listened to my plea and granted the job to me. As it turned out, I needed surgery just before I was to transfer to the other department. They had to put me on light duty in the new department. My recuperation was slow. I greatly dreaded telling the head of my new department that I felt I needed to resign and find a less stressful job at a different company, after having insisted that I wanted the job. But the department head was very sympathetic and understanding. He was very “magnanimous.”

Examples in the Bible of Being the “Bigger Person”

I began to think about people in the Bible who were examples of being “bigger people.” First I thought about Abraham and his nephew Lot. Genesis 13 tells us that when Abraham and Lot came to settle between Bethel and Ai, with their flocks and herds, the area was not large enough to accommodate both of them well. The herdsmen of Abraham and the herdsmen of Lot had begun quarreling. Abraham could have said, “Uh, look Lot. I’m the elder here. So I think it would make the most sense if I choose which land I want first. Then you can have what’s left.” Instead, as verses 8 and 9 record, Abram (later called Abraham) graciously said to Lot: “ ‘Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.’ ” As it turned out, Lot looked around and noted that the plain of Jordan was “well watered,” so he chose to go that direction. (I wondered why Abraham referred to Lot as his brother, since I understood Lot was his nephew, his brother’s son.  I assumed Abraham just meant “we are from the same family.” After some research, I found that he may have actually looked upon him as a sort of brother. Since Lot’s father had died, Abraham’s father apparently would have taken Lot in as one of his children.)

Joseph as a Slave

Then I thought about Joseph and his brothers. Genesis 37 recounts the story of Joseph’s brothers being so jealous of their 17-year-old favored brother that they almost killed him, but instead threw him into a cistern. They they decided to sell him to some passing merchants, who later sold him to an Egyptian official. In chapter 39 we find that the Egyptian official’s wife accused Joseph of attempting to have a sexual relationship with him because she was angry that he turned her down, so he ended up in prison. Genesis 42 informs us that after being stuck in prison for 12 or 13 years, Joseph was finally released after God gave him the interpretation for Pharaoh’s troubling dream. In fact, Pharaoh made Joseph his right hand man. The succeeding chapters tell the story of how Joseph saved Egypt from famine by storing up grain. His brothers ended up coming to Egypt for grain because of the famine. After the dramatic revelation that Pharaoh’s next in command was actually their brother Joseph, they greatly feared retribution for having sold their own brother into slavery. Joseph could have said, “How could you have done that to your own brother? Now you expect me to provide food for you?” But Genesis 50:19-21 records Joseph’s amazing response: “ ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.’ And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.”

Then there’s the story of Moses and the golden calf incident. In Exodus 19 we find that Moses went up on the mountain to meet with God while God wrote the Ten Commandments on tablets of stone and gave Moses many regulations for the Israelites. Chapter 32 tells us that the Israelites became very insecure because Moses had been gone so long. It was 40 days before he returned. After God had just sent ten plagues on the Egyptians so that Pharaoh would free the Israelites from slavery and then parted the Red Sea so the Israelites could cross to safety, they came up with a hair-brained idea to melt all their jewelry into a golden calf and worship it as their god. Then they had a wild party with singing and dancing. God was so angry that he told Moses what they were doing and that He wanted to destroy them all and start over building a chosen nation with the offspring of Moses. Moses might have said, “Sock it to ‘em, Lord. You just got them out of slavery and got them across the Red Sea. Now they’ve already completely lost faith in You. Talk about a short memory! Personally, I think I would be a great choice for starting over and building a new nation.” But Moses didn’t allow his ego to fall in love with the idea of being the new building block for God’s chosen people.  Despite the Israelites’ selfish and immature behavior, Moses reminded God that the surrounding nations would believe that He brought the Israelites out of Egypt to destroy them. He reminded God of His promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. So God relented. Mind you, Moses was very angry when he witnessed the Israelites’ behavior for himself. He instituted punishment. Moses burned the golden calf and ground it to powder, then put it in the water and made the people drink it. The excuse Moses’ brother Aaron offered for participating in the egregious sin was that the people asked him to make them gods. He said, “they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.” (Liar, liar, pants on fire. The Bible records that Aaron fashioned the golden calf with a tool.) Moses then commanded all who were for the Lord to come to him. The Levites (Moses’ tribe) came forward. He commanded each of those who came forward to “strap a sword to his side.” They were told to walk back and forth through the camp, which resulted in about 3,000 deaths (out of a population of about 2 million or more). Moses once again begged God to forgive Israel. He even told God to blot his own name out of the Book of Life if He didn’t forgive Israel. I think Moses was a lot “bigger person” than I am. Consequently, God didn’t wipe them out, although He did send a plague as punishment.

Daniel in the Lion’s Den

Another example of someone in the Bible being a “bigger person” would be Daniel. In the sixth chapter of the book of Daniel we find the familiar story of “Daniel in the Lions’ Den.” King Darius had appointed Daniel as one of three administrators of his kingdom and had plans to promote him. The governors of the provinces were so jealous that they wanted to devise a plan to get charges brought against him. They knew it would be difficult because Daniel was so conscientious and full of integrity. They talked the king into making an irrevocable decree that anyone praying to any god or man except the king in the following 30 days would be thrown into the lions’ den. The trap was set. They were quite sure Daniel would defy the order and pray toward Jerusalem out his open window three times a day, as he always did. They squealed on Daniel, knowing that the king had to abide by the decree he had made. Although greatly distressed, the king reluctantly gave the order to throw Daniel in the den. He couldn’t eat or sleep. At the crack of dawn, the king rushed to the lions’ den and called down to ask Daniel if his God had been able to rescue him. Daniel could have hollered up, “Not to be disrespectful, Your Majesty, but how in the world could you forget that I worship the God of Israel? After all I’ve done for you, how could you write a decree like that?” But verse 21 records Daniel’s gracious reply: “ ‘O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouth of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, O king.’ ” The king was elated. Because of Daniel’s account of his deliverance, the king made a decree that all the people in his kingdom that they “ ‘must fear and reverence the God of Daniel’ ” (verse 26).

Peter Denies Jesus

Perhaps the One who could best show us how to be “magnanimous” is Jesus, the Son of God. The 14th chapter of Mark reveals that on the night before Jesus was to be crucified, Peter vehemently stated that even if everyone else abandoned Jesus, he never would. (To be fair, the other disciples chimed in and said the same, according to verse 31.) Jesus then told Peter that before the rooster crowed twice the next morning, he would disown Him three times. On that night Jesus began to be in great distress and went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemane. He took His disciples along and asked his three closest disciples, Peter, James, and John, to stay nearby and pray with Him. Three times he found them sleeping. At the end of chapter 14, we find that Peter did exactly as Jesus predicted. Three times he denied having any relationship with Jesus. When Peter heard the cock crow the second time, he remembered Jesus’ prediction and wept bitterly. After Jesus rose from the dead, He graciously gave Peter a chance to redeem himself. Three times He asked Peter if he loved Him, and each time Peter gave a positive response. Luke 23:34 records that when Jesus was hanging on the cross in severe pain He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

How About You and Me?

I’m sure most of us have passed up more opportunities to be “the bigger person” than we care to think about. These are challenging days, and there is lots of contention and name-calling. There has been a lot of discussion over the Scriptures where Jesus talks about the repercussions of calling someone a fool. Matthew 5:21-22 records these words of Jesus: “ ‘You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, “Raca,” is answerable to the Sanhedrin [a tribunal set up in each city of ancient Israel]. But anyone who says, “You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell.’ ” (Hope I didn’t confuse you with all those quotation marks. Since I was quoting the Bible, which was quoting Jesus, who was quoting others, it was a quote within a quote within a quote. According to painintheenglish.com, in the United States we are to go from double quotation marks to single quotation marks, then back to double quotation marks. Some countries, they say, actually use triple quotation marks for the third phase.)

The puzzling part of the above Scripture passage is that Jesus Himself and others in the Bible called some “fools” or “foolish.” I could see I needed a little help from scholars on this one. After skimming several articles on the subject, the most helpful seemed to be at compellingtruth.org. The key might be in the meaning of the words in the original language. The word “raca” means “empty, senseless, empty-headed.” That word is said to have been a vulgar insult in Bible days. According to hermeneutics.stackexchange.com, the word for “fool” used in Matthew 5:22 was “moros,” from which we get the word “moron.” According to Oxford Languages online, “moron” means “a stupid person.”

Getting back to the information at compellingtruth.org, one of the original words from which “fools” or “foolish” was translated is the word “aphron,” meaning “senseless, without thought or reason, rash. Five instances of its use in Scripture were provided. In Luke 11:40 Jesus said, “ ‘You foolish people!’ ” [when speaking to the Pharisees].  In Romans 2:20 Paul saysthat the Jewish teachers considered themselves “ ‘an instructor of the foolish.’ ” In I Corinthians 15:36 Paul says, “ ‘How foolish!’ ” when reasoning out questions of the resurrected body. In II Corinthians 12:11 Paul says “I have made a fool of myself, . . .”

In I Peter 2:15 Peter advises believers to submit to government authorities  to “silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.” [Of course this is assuming that what the authorities are asking of believers does not conflict with what God’s Word asks of them. Acts 5:29 says, “Peter and the other apostles replied: ‘We must obey God rather than human beings!’ ”]

Another word used in translating to “fools” or “foolish” is the word “anoetos,” meaning “not understanding, uninformed, unwise.” Five occurrences of this word origin in Scripture were given. In Luke 24:25 Jesus said to the two disciples on the Road to Emmaus, “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!” In Romans 1:14 Paul stated that he was “obligated both to the Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish.” In Galatians  3:1 Paul said, “You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Christ was portrayed as crucified.”  And in Galatians 3:3 he said, “Are you so foolish? After beginning [your new life of faith] with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal [of salvation] by human effort?” In Titus 3:3 Paul says, “At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.”

So the conclusion seems to be that to call someone a “moron” or a “stupid person” is to attack the level of intelligence God created in them. It could also indicate arrogance about our own innate intelligence that was given to us by God and for which we can take no credit. In our day, I think calling someone a “fool” might be interpreted as calling them “stupid,” especially if it is said in anger. I believe it would be safer to use the word “foolish,” rather than “fool.” It seems that it is acceptable to God to tell someone that their thoughts or theories or plans are unwise, irrational, or uninformed. This is an effort to help them think more clearly. I believe the most easy-to-understand explanation I have heard for the difference between “intelligence” and “wisdom” is that “intelligence” is the ability to acquire knowledge, whereas “wisdom” is the practice of using  good judgment.

Anger and Name-Calling

Given that there is a lot of anger and name-calling today, we have lots of opportunities to be “the bigger person.” If someone insults us and /or calls us names, we can respond in a thoughtful way. There is nothing wrong with stating what we believe to be the truth firmly and unapologetically, but we can do it in a way that is acceptable to God. Instead of responding in knee-jerk anger, we can pause and ask God to help us respond in the right way. In Matthew 15:11 we find that Jesus said, “ ‘What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him “unclean,” but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him ‘unclean. ’ ” James 1:26 says, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” I think we can accurately extend that application not only to our tongues, but to our pens and our keyboards.

Of course we should never agree with something we know to be false, just to keep the peace. It isn’t really loving to be untruthful, helping to lead someone astray. Sometimes being “the bigger person” means having the courage to speak the truth when someone wants to support what is more popular. Romans 12:18 instructs us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” But sometimes it isn’t possible to stand for truth and at the same time live at peace with everyone. Jesus came to give us internal peace, but sometimes external peace is not possible, even among family members. Romans 5:1 says, “”Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Jesus said this to His disciples in John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  Yet it is recorded in Luke 12:51-52 that Jesus said: “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.”

What About Hypocritical Leaders?

Although Jesus was slow to anger with most people, there was one group to whom He spoke very harshly—the hypocritical religious leaders of His day. They were evil, prideful people who were pretending to be good. The Scribes and Pharisees wanted everyone to think they were superior, yet they were greedy for power and wealth. They added all kinds of rules and loopholes to the laws God had given. In Matthew 23 we find a lengthy discourse Jesus gave in regard to their depravity. He said they loved to pray long prayers in the marketplace to impress everyone, yet Mark 12:40 tells us that they somehow cheated widows out of their houses. In Matthew 23:33 Jesus even said, “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?” It seems likely that the Scribes and Pharisees had even convinced themselves that they were highly righteous people. Jesus probably spoke very harshly to wake them up to the fact that if they didn’t repent and change their ways, they were destined to hell. Sometimes God spoke very harshly through Old Testament prophets to those who had become hard-hearted and so deep in sinful behavior that God’s patience was about to end, and He was about to bring harsh judgments on them.

Perhaps it makes it easier for us to slow down and allow God to guide our communications  when we are calm because we are trusting in God. In church this Sunday our pastor spoke from the seventh chapter of the book of Micah. We can relate to the instability of Israel in which Micah found himself. The references to Israel in the short chapter of Micah 7 may remind you of the conditions in our country today, if you take time to read it. As our pastor reminded us, our governor encouraged us to snitch on neighbors who had a larger-than-approved Thanksgiving gathering during the peak of the Covid-19 pandemic. A striking resemblance to Micah 7:5. The pastor encouraged us with Micah 7:7, which says: “But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord.  I wait for God my Savior. My God will hear me.”

Whenever we see pictures of mythical little leprechauns around St. Patrick’s Day, we can use it as a reminder to try to be “the bigger person.” It’s not always easy, but I think it’s very important.

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