There are times in our lives when it would be extremely valuable to reassess the way we are operating our everyday lives. Do you feel that “self-care” seems a little selfish? Could it be that taking care of ourselves actually enables us to serve others to the best of our ability? The Bible does say that we should “love our neighbors as ourselves” (Leviticus 19:18). That seems to indicate that we need to take care of ourselves, too.

One evening I tuned in to a favorite Christian talk show, and the guest interviewed that night really impressed me with her approach to the subject of self-care. She called it “soul care” and brought to light the fact that we cannot serve others well when we are “running on fumes.” The guest’s name was Debra Fileta. She is a wife and mother, a professional counselor, and a dedicated Christian with a strong knowledge of Scripture. Her latest book  is entitled Soul Care. After hearing her speak, I was very interested in looking into her new book. After ordering and receiving the book, I found that the cover encapsulates the goals of the book: “Find life-giving rhythms; Avoid burn-out; Live restored; Discover unspeakable joy.” I discovered that the contents of the book indeed proved to guide readers to achieve these goals.

Debra’s writing is brought to life by vivid illustrations, personal experiences, references to the patterns of Jesus’ life indicated in Scripture, and accounts of changed lives. Way back in 2004, a book called Margins came out. It had a similar theme of avoiding burn-out by not over-scheduling our lives. It became quite well known, but I never got around to reading it. I guess my life was too over-scheduled.

Debra’s book is divided into seven sections. At the end of each chapter are some questions to answer, to help readers apply the concepts to their own lives.

The first section of the book is called “Living Filled to Fully Live.” This section helps readers come to the realization that we must fill up with the right kind of fuel and that we must not neglect to refill our fuel. It distinguishes the difference between self care and soul care.

The second section is entitled “Nourish.” It explains the relationship between our physical health and our spiritual health. We must take care of the “temples” of our bodies in order to be able to serve God fully. This section helps us to see clearly some ways we can do that. Chapter 7 reminds us about the story in I Kings 17, where God instructed Elijah to go to a brook where there was fresh water and sent ravens to feed him there. Today our fitness watches make us feel good about getting 10,000 steps a day, but this book informs us that Bible scholars believe Jesus probably walked about 20 miles per day. That equates to approximately 42,222 steps each day.

“Reset” is the title of the third section. Part of rest is not trying to run your life at a “go-go-go” pace. The author helps readers realize that trying to “give 100%” constantly is unsustainable. Instead, she  believes we should operate at an 85% mentality. Life brings unexpected demands that aren’t in our schedules. Debra shows us that Jesus modeled this. Come to think of it, when Jesus needed to go to the home of Jairus to heal his daughter who had died (recorded in Luke 8), He didn’t say something like “Well, I would love to come and heal your daughter, but I planned to be in Capernaum by 5:00.” (I don’t know if He was on His way to Capernaum. I just made that up.)

The title of the fourth section is “Connect.” In this section we see how crucial relationships are. Debra teaches us how to find the right kind of relationships and how to sustain them. She notes that Jesus and His disciples are an example of this. We know Jesus had an intimate circle of friends in Peter, James, and John and kept a special connection with them.

The fifth section is named “Protect.” It teaches readers about the necessity of boundaries. The author stresses the importance of living to please God instead of trying to satisfy all the wishes of others. Proverbs 4:3 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” [WEB]

The sixth section is called “Savor.” It shows our need for simply enjoying life. Enjoying life refreshes our souls. In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” [KJV] Debra reminds us that Jesus took time to attend a wedding, a long social event in those days of Jewish history. Also, we remember that Lazarus’ sister Mary took time to soak in the presence of Jesus while her sister Martha worried too much about the details of serving the guests. Debra reminds us that efficiency is sometimes the enemy of enjoying life. (Ouch.) She also reminds us in this section that developing an attitude of thankfulness can completely turn around our ability to enjoy life.

Here I must mention one bit of advice found in Chapter 16 that I am reluctant to fully endorse. Debra brings up the popular therapy called “mindfulness.” An awareness and appreciation of the things God has created is a great thing, but emptying your mind of everything else to focus on one small thing for a period of time is different. I have three concerns about mindfulness therapy. First is God’s clear disdain for His children dabbling in anything related to pagan religions. The origins of this therapy can be found in an article called “Origins—Is Mindfulness Christian?” on the ezrainstitute.org website. Secondly, there have been some serious side effects of mindfulness therapy. This is explained in an article called “Is mindfulness making us ill?” on the guardian.com website. Thirdly, I discovered an interesting article called “How mindfulness can make you a darker person” on the bbc.com website.

The seventh and final section of Debra’s well-written and engaging book is entitled “Tune In.” In this section readers learn of the importance of having a deep understanding of our own thoughts and emotions and how they affect our lives. Debra quotes Proverbs 30:5. In the World English Bible version it says: “Counsel in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Motivations are very important.

The author points out in the final section that thoughts lead to feelings, and feelings lead to behavior. She discusses how life experiences can override the truths of Scripture we should be using as a guide. Satan can use our life experiences to confuse us. Debra gives a pertinent example of someone she counseled whose life was transformed by understanding that he had been deceived by a life experience.

Debra ends this final section of her book by encouraging readers to decide which issues addressed in her book are most crucial for them to begin to work on in their own lives. Appendixes A & B give help for those who feel they may have some serious issues that require some medical or counseling assistance.

I truly believe this 220-page book is one of the most thought-provoking I have read, with great potential for being life-changing. I myself hurried through the book, in order to share this book review on my website. Actually, I think readers would benefit more by going through it very slowly while evaluating how to apply it to their own personal lives. It might even be most influential if a person focused on just one of the 20 chapters each week. It would take several months but might yield great rewards.